spleen_queen

10:16 pm: another month with no updates, no change to anything really.

04:34 pm: nearly a month with no updates
I did write a load of boring rambly stuff, but here's a summary instead: I can't drive, can't get a job, all my depression/anxiety/agoraphobia is getting worse. I want to try exercise instead of antidepressants, so I can feel better about myself and maybe make it through a job interview without crying for a couple of hours before and after, but my parents won't pay for a gym membership until I have a job, which isn't going to happen while I'm this depressed.

Also, I'm vegetarian now.

07:26 pm: Century 21 were supposed to call today, they haven't, no surprises there.

Today's interview for the fundraising job seemed to go pretty well, basically they need to grow their membership a lot and quickly if they're going to meet their targets, so they want to get people out there asap. I only applied for the job on Monday, got a call on Tuesday, interview on Wednesday, he'll call me again on Thursday, and I'll have Craig David in my head on Friday.

The pay's pretty crap especially since it's commission only with no basic pay, but fair enough since it's for a charity. Tbh I'll be glad just to be getting out of the house and doing something. Hopefully then in 6 months I'll be in a much better position with having some experience and being able to drive.

02:02 pm: most of my friends who went to uni are back for easter now, so on Friday night a bunch of us went out. Naturally I got a bit tipsy and threw myself infront of anyone taking photos


I had a nice day with Charlie on Saturday; it was warm and sunny, and his parents are getting a new greenhouse so we spent a few hours digging up the ground where it's going to go. It looks like there used to be another house at the end of their garden, because under the grass there was more concrete and tarmac and bricks than soil.

On Sunday, the whole family went to Oxford for Charlie's uncles birthday; we had a huge lunch at a Beefeater, which wasn't too bad, and I was pretty impressed with the waitress for bringing up everyone's drinks at once (there were 14 of us altogether). After that we all went to Charlie's uncles house, then Charlie's family and me went to see his aunt and uncle on his mum's side.

On Monday I had an interview with Century 21, but I don't think they're going to offer me anything while I don't have my own car or driving license. Tomorrow I've got an interview to sell lottery tickets door-to-door to raise money for the Heart of Kent Hospice. If I get that then it'll be good for a bit of sales experience, and helping me to get to know my way around Maidstone, so I'll have a much better chance with Century 21 in future.

07:57 pm: hey look, an update
I have been doing stuff for the last 4 weeks, I just haven't been updating because I like flicking onto my LJ page and going "hell yeah I saw Orlando Bloom!"

Anyway, I still have no job. I've applied for loads, gone to a couple of interviews and have another interview on Monday, but still no actual job offers. It's getting harder to find enough jobs to apply for to get my jobseekers allowance because there are less and less being advertised, and more of them saying "must have experience of blah blah", "mush have blah months of experience", etc. Also a few that require own transport, which I don't have. I don't seem to be getting any better at driving; I keep making the same mistakes every lesson, most of which cause the car to stall and pedestrians to laugh and shout things at me. You'd think that after 15 lessons I'd be able to pull out of my own driveway without crashing into a bush on the other side of the road, wouldn't you? But apparently not.

I still see Charlie every weekend, and sometimes during the week. It looks like I might be seeing a bit more of him now since his work is stopping people from doing overtime (he normally works 7 til 7), but he's going to try to get them to let him work his normal hours mon-thurs and have friday off. He's coming over tomorrow and we're going to go out with a bunch of our school friends that are back from uni. I'm going to be a good girl and spend all of my dole money on booze.

06:37 pm: I had my audition for Countdown today which is completely unimportant because as I walked around to the hotel car park, I saw ORLANDO FREAKIN BLOOM! and he was RUNNING.

I almost didn't recognise him because I was looking at his dog!

12:35 pm: I'm giving up tea and coffee, and brushing with whitening toothpaste 3 times a day. It wasn't really a conscious thing to do it for lent; on wednesday morning I had a cup of tea, saw what colour the once-white mug had gone, and decided that I don't want my teeth to end up the same colour.

As a result of giving up caffeine, I am both grumpy and sleepy. I'm like *grumble grumble grumble* bah! meh... *snoooooooze*

06:35 pm: so I haven't updated in a couple of weeks...
nothing much has happened in a while. I keep applying for jobs and being rejected; most of the time they don't even bother to let me know. I beat my record for being rejected by the way, I applied for a telesales job and the recriting woman rejected me in the course of a 1:27 phone call. What was I supposed to say anyway? "I have a real passion for pissing people off by phoning them up when they're busy and trying to sell them crap they don't want. I especially look forward to people swearing at me and hanging up. I think I would be perfect for the job because I have no soul".
For some reason every time I apply for a job I think I'm going to get it, and I start looking forward to it, but then I just get more upset when I don't. I should really have a go at that "learning" thing that I've heard about.

I put on a bit of weight over christmas, but in the last month or so I've cut down on my food and been walking a bit and now I'm back to the weight I was before. Go me!

My driving's getting a bit better now; today I made it through a whole lesson without even scraping any curbs, and no one beeped at me on any roundabouts! Now I just need to get the hang of not stalling. Once I've passed my test, I want to apply to be a Body Shop party planner. I love The Body Shop and it looks like loads of fun.


Tags: driving, jobhunt, weight

12:53 pm: I has a snow!


I went out for a walk, and it was really creepy how few people were around. I'd have thought that there would be loads of kids playing infront of their houses, or at the playing fields, but nope. I feel sorry for the bin men, they seem to be the only people actually at work today.

06:33 pm: I got my fastest ever rejection today.

Application sent at 2:00, rejection received at 3:15. I didn't really want the job but it's nice to know that I'm not even worth considering.

02:09 pm: I'm now signing on for jobseekers benefits. That means I have to do at least 3 "steps" a week thingis like phoning an employer or sending them a CV. So today I phoned the casino with a big RECRUITING NOW sign on the side of it, and now I'm going to an open interview on Thursday. If I get a job it'll probably be bar work though I'd really like to work on the casino floor.

I'm still looking at wwoofing, and I've found a horse farm in Tobago that takes volunteers in return for food and accommodation. DO WANT! I've emailed them saying a bit about me and Charlie and asking when they want people. The minimum stay there is 4 weeks, but if we like it we could end up staying for a couple of months.

11:42 am: THINGS!
The first ten people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done this year.
- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry. I may draw or paint something.
I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to put this in your journal as well.

12:37 pm: passed my theory test! that was easy.

11:15 am: I was supposed to have a driving lesson on Monday, so when my instructor didn't turn up I phoned her mobile and it was answered by her brother in law who told me that her husband had died suddenly on Sunday night. Fair enough it's not my fault that the office didn't let me know that the lesson was cancelled, but I felt like such a tit for bothering them. She's got young kids as well :(
I don't really want to start having lessons with someone else so at the moment I'm focusing on getting all of the theory stuff into my head for my theory test on Tuesday.

A few months ago I applied to be on Countdown, then when I didn't hear back from it I gave up and stopped watching the show. Now that I'm out of practice and suck at Countdown, I get a letter inviting me to an audition in March. So for the next 2 months I'm going to be playing facebook scrabble continuously.

08:44 pm: happy new year...
I saw Yes Man the day before new year's eve with Charlie and a couple of school friends; it seemed a bit short but other than that it was pretty good. The bit at the beginning seems a bit contrived though. My lasting memory of that film will be the old lady blowjob scene no matter how hard I try to repress it.

For new year's eve a couple of people came over and we had a little barbecue and lots of fireworks. Every year Shish's friends come over with lots of things to set on fire and blow up so I just assumed that they would be this year and didn't find out that they weren't coming until the night before. So on the morning of new year's eve I phone dragged Charlie out of bed and made him take me to buy lots of things that banged and flashed. "I bang and flash" could be a clue in Dirty Minds, which was one of the games we played when we came in from the cold in between burning things.

A couple of days ago I went to see The Spirit with Charlie. The comparison between The Spirit and Cin Sity is inevitable because they're so similar visually, but The Spirit is much easier to follow with a much simpler storyline, and it's not all sex and violence.

Charlie and I are thinking of going on a WWOOF trip. Basically that means staying on a farm and working on it for about 4 hours a day in return for food and accomodation. I did want to do it in Australia, but since flights there are so expensive, I'm now looking at doing it in Italy instead. If we do go for it and have a good time then maybe next year we'll go a bit further.

11:33 am: merry christmarse!
I had the bestest christmas ever :)
First on Christmas eve Charlie came over and we had our presents with my dad and brother, then Charlie took me to his place. I got so much stuff from his family! my stocking alone had more in it than I normally get for christmas altogether. Here's the obligatory list of everything I got: chocolate, book of paintings of cats, coffee machine, box of lotions and things, scented candles, mug and coaster set, socks, pyjamas, jewelery, scarf, glitter lamp, cat calendar, nail care kit, hairbands, blue and purple tights, giant tube of just blue smarties, pretty necklace and cat IQ test book.
I had a great time with Charlie and his family; we played some silly games and watched kung fu panda, and I got Charlie The Bard's Tale which he couldn't stop playing and is now well over halfway through. There were lots of experimental drinks, mostly made by Charlie's brother Paul who is a barman at uni, although Charlie decided to make himself a white russian before bed, which may have had something to do with him waking up in the middle of the night in the shower.
Now I'm back home and it's all a bit quiet. Still, not long until blowing stuff up day. Hopefully some of my friends from school will be able to come over seeing as I haven't seen them in months, and I have christmas presents for a couple of them. Time to set up a facebook event...

Tags: charlie, christmas

04:34 pm: I went to see The Armstrong and Miller show being recorded last night :D

Charlie and I took the train to London, tube to Oxford Circus where we had a McDonalds (not very inspiring I know but we didn't have time for anything better) then on to White Castle where you come out of the station and cross the road to BBC television centre. We were going to have a wander around the shepherd's bush shopping mall, but the queue for A&M had already started to form so we thought we were better off joining it. After an hour in the queue we went through security and into the audience foyer for another 45 minutes wait, then along lots of corridoors to studio number 8. I didn't know what to expect since I hadn't been to a sketch show recoring before, so I didn't know how filming different sketches in the same studio would work.
There were 4 different sets, 3 next to eachother at the front and 1 behind them. One or 2 sketches were filmed in each one and then during the costume changes we were shown pre-recored sketches so that they could get a laughter recording for them. I don't want to give to much away, but the sketches I saw were set in a plane, a tanning salon, and a boxing ring, and they did some songs as well. The tanning salon sketch took about 6 takes because Alex kept getting the cord around Ben's face instead of his neck, and the songs all took a few takes because they kept missing lines. At one point Ben turned to us and went "imagine how hard this would be if I was actually playing the piano!"
I applied for tickets for 2 other days in January, but didn't get them :( no fair, I want to go again. But then no one did check the date on my ticket, or tear off the end, and I could peel off the sticker on it...

Tags: charlie, funtimes

01:23 pm: page 56 game
* Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
* Turn to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post that sentence along with these instructions in your journal.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.

*looks around* ah. The Age of Empires II manual.

"Click a gate, and then click the Lock Gate or Unlock Gate button in the lower-left corner of the screen."

Profound.

Tags: meme

01:10 pm: I had my second driving lesson today; again it was horrible and scary. I had to use 3rd gear and turn right and go on some roundabouts. I'm really bad at steering. I can never turn the right amount on corners and along straight roads I keep wiggling from side to side. I'm getting better at changing gears, and at stopping without breaking my neck.

I still hate kerbs.

Tags: driving

10:52 am: My driving lesson yesterday was horrible and scary and I didn't like it. And I don't like kerbs. I was so tense I barely even noticed anything outside of the car. I think I might actually drive better after a couple of drinks just so I'm relaxed.
She made me drive to my house. Do you have any idea what that's like?! No, most of you don't. Well to turn on to the road you have to go round a corner while going down a short steep slope, and the road itself is a narrow and full of potholes. Horrible horrible horrible.

( and now for something completely different )



Tags: driving, meme